I heard the cops when they came in ,“Oh my God.” There was a lot of dead bodies and blood. I heard the cops kill the shooter, and then they came into our classroom. And it really just comes down to me knowing that their reaction to it will determine my relationship with them. There’s no way I can avoid talking about my entire childhood that was lived in this one place, and an event that shaped my entire childhood. It doesn’t feel like a burden so much as it feels like something that I know I’ll always, always have to talk about. Because they were like, “I’d be so scared to ever go to school again.” And I was like, “Yeah, I was, for a long time.” And they wanted to know a lot about what happened afterward, like how did I cope with it? What are my parents telling me? When did I go back to school or what was it like going back to school? How did I get over it? That kind of thing. They were sorry that I had to go through that. And they were all just sitting there looking at me, like, shocked, you know, just eyes wide open like, “Wow.” That was the common reaction. My brother’s first-grade teacher and my principal, and two of my friends lost their younger siblings.” They had asked, “So, did you know anyone or anything like that?” And I remember just being like, “Yeah, I did. And I was like, “Well, I was in the gym that day.” And they were like, “Wait, like you were there, when this was happening?” People always clarify like that: “You were in the building, when it was happening that day?” And I’m like, “Yes, I was.” I think they assumed I was probably in a different school. I trust them as much as I can trust people that I’ve spent two or three months around, pretty much 24/7. And hopefully my speech is persuasive enough to keep her in there. So I’m going to do what I can to keep somebody that did this, that started all these school shootings, in a place that I know she can’t hurt innocent people. I will continue to do this until she’s no longer with us, or I can no longer do it. Some people just want to be like, “That was back then. It’s putting your face out there in the news again, and some people want to suppress it. There’s not a lot of people that attend because it is a time commitment. Because if that were me, and my family, I would want somebody to speak for me. That’s what really motivates me to go, because these two people that were killed, they didn’t get to see their kids graduate, marry, any of that stuff. The principal and custodian do not have a voice any longer. And then you think you deserve a second chance? Why?” There is no remorse. I could see everything in black and white.Īnd then I move forward to, you know, basically, “You have the audacity to want to be released? You killed two people. The feeling when the bullet entered my body was like an electrical shock.
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